Angel Numbers

I don’t know if I have told you my story here. I know it has been a long time I last written something here. But since 2019 I am still here in Spain. I was unlucky to not be able to be accepted by another program that I applied fort after the 3-year English Language Assistant contract.

My life has been tough after that moment. These days, I am somehow afraid because I have been seeing numbers in pairs. For example 11:11 both in the morning and at night. Apart from those numbers, I have also seen other repeating numbers like 12:12, 03:33 etc.

I am hoping that something is going to be great ahead. Next week, Monday the 17th of March, 2025 I will start my on-the-job internship. I am seeing that I will be assigned in a front-end group. I hope this is one of the good stuff there is but I won’t be sure until I get there. Wish me luck!

He texted me that he’s planning to go to the cemetery today as it was his late father’s birthday yesterday but he couldn’t go .

While he was in the cemetery with the bouquet of flower in his hand, he gets down and sent me another text.

“Que dificil es tener que traer así un regalo por su cumpleaños aunque de verdad ya no es nunca más...“

He came to me with teary eyes as he was preparing to see his grandma, then he said:

“I want to look handsome for my grandma but suddenly I realized she can’t see me anymore.”

It struck me too and we began weeping while wrapping ourselves in a tight hug.

First Autumn Experience in Spain

Found this in my archive 2 years ago
Original entry written on 2019

Here I am, sitting on one of the benches of the playground near the school where I was assigned. Every Monday and Thursday, I am assigned to the town of Albudeite. As today is Monday, I am sitting here in a park distancing myself from Nstra. Sra. de los Remedios School with the hope of not being seen by students without any jacket on.

I arrived here at 7:40 AM, the sky is still kissed with darkness. Little did I know that it would be this cold. It is autumn already and I underestimated the temperature. It is my first time to be in a four-seasoned country though, so I was only wearing a thin polo shirt, earlier drenched by my sweat after a 30-minute walk from our flat to the bus station. Now, I am shivering but not like crazy. I can see leaves dancing with the cool wind. I will be enduring this for 1 whole hour before the school opens at 9:00 AM.

I pray I won’t get sick of my stupidity. Another share of absurdity is that I did not bring with me an extra T-shirt. After I finished this school, I will have to head straight to an Academy where I am taking a sideline job teaching English to native Spanish students. With this polo shirt, I might smell off as I arrive at the place.

As I continue writing this entry, the time skidded to 8:05 AM. Now it’s a bit light yet the wind is still giving me goosebumps. It is already autumn here in Spain but the leaves are not dropping yet, I don’t know if they really fall. But the cold is proof that I am already experiencing my favorite season of the year.

Used to be a fun online game now gives me stress and toxicity

I was so happy to finally install again the online game that I used to love playing when I was a child. It has been bringing me delight and a proper flow of mental activity. As it gives me fun and new friends, it has also given me time to feel exhausted, stressed and bare the face of toxicity again. So far, I have met kind and generous people back in the game but now what I feel is toxin. Many trash talking, blaming, fighting and lies. I think I would only log in just to gain some rewards from the event and extend the availability of a great ring that I received half a month ago and that’s it. Better not join a room for now. May I could do this without any hesitant and temptation.

Why can’t people take the dose of their own medicine?

Self-esteem Realization

“DON’T SPEAK UNLESS BEING SPOKEN TO”

(even if this means lowering further your self-esteem. At least, you don’t annoy anyone.)

This is what I don’t like about trying to be a very conversant person. I tend to feel close to someone that I try to talk more than my usual self especially in online chat that some people would find me annoying. I don’ like the feeling of being hated or disliked by anyone more especially because I tried to change a bit of myself. I tried to become better at interlocuting with other instead it turned out the opposite.

Why do I get emotional whenever somebody talks to me deeply? Well, I don’t think emotional is the right word, I mean that feeling of belongingness then suddenly it is extinguished. That time whenever someone dwell on having an exchange of words with you when you were not even thinking of them having to like how you speak. Or was it just because it was done online? Was it that I have more sarcasm and humor when chatting with people online than when doing it in-person? I surely don’t know the answer. As introvert as I am, I don’t usually surround myself with other people especially strangers who only had to have a quick talk rather than having those deep ones. But last night, I met a person online who happened to freely talk to me even though we only knew each other a night ago. Our personality suddenly clicked alongside our level of sarcasms. To tell you the truth, I was having fun chatting with him. He is a quick-witted person. Our conversation even reached to the point of him wanting me to come over to his place and visit him for the summer. I was not expecting that at all. However, as open-book as I would like to be, I just didn’t hold myself back without telling him my sexual orientation. It’s my personality to not keep secrets to people especially if they really need to know it before finally meeting me in-person. Even though he seems not affected by it, but deep inside I am sure he was. Though he still continued to chat with me in the game but then I, myself, tried to distant myself from him as I have a tendency to long for the presence and the familiar sarcasm of that specific someone. I tend to crave for that same belongingness yet I avoid them right after. Was I being so harsh to myself or was I just helping myself to not be hurt?

A Sudden Unexpected Travel Invitation

Tonight was an extraordinary night for me. It is not because of a big occasion or celebration that was being thrown somewhere but because of an unexpected invitation that I received from a person I just happen to meet online a night ago, in a game called Rakion. This offer-invitation is a vacation travel to a country that I have never heard before. Can you believe that?

It all started yesterday when I played the game in a team that was unexpectedly crowded. The room was almost full, there was even a time when it became full with the total capacity of 16/16/. As expected, a bounty of players were already familiar to me but there was this swordsman bearing the name of Mr.Postman7, who dressed in a bear costume, which caught my attention. Given the fact that he was in a costume, he was already an eye-catcher. All of a sudden he appeared right next to where I was fighting so I tried to attack him with the basic attack and grip combo. I was having a hard time gripping his bear-costumed character so I kept on advancing to him.

Suddenly, without noticing it, he became my most-targeted player.

Perhaps, out of his exasperation, he shouted in the chat box “Ninja leave me alone!”.

That just drew a smirk on my face! So, I teased him even further. I wanted to mess around and kept on killing him. Actually, he was a great player thus only in the beginning that I was held triumphant.

After that shout in the chat, we constantly exchanged messages somehow.

Whenever I could kill him, he’d remarked “Go away ninja! I don’t like you!”.

Then I’d reply “But I like you! You should get accustomed to that. hahahah”

So the killing and fighting continues. Once, when I defeated him he said “Okay, you owe me bouquet of flowers and chocolates”.

Boy, isn’t he funny? But then if it was me who was being killed, he’d say something else like “Alright, candles for dinner” LOL